Nobody wakes up one morning with a brand new mindset. That’s not how it works. What actually happens is smaller than that — a shift here, a reframe there, a tiny decision to think about something differently than you did yesterday. Over time, those small moments add up to something real.
If you’re in the middle of a big life question right now — especially one you’ve been carrying for a while — your mindset is either working for you or against you. Here are five simple practices that can start shifting it in the right direction. None of them require a meditation cushion or a journal. Just a few minutes and a willingness to try.
1. Catch the thought and flip it
When you notice yourself thinking “I can’t figure this out” or “I’ll never know what to do” — stop for just a second. Then try this: swap “can’t” for “not yet.”
“I can’t figure this out” becomes “I haven’t figured this out yet.”
It sounds small. It is small. But “not yet” keeps the door open in a way that “can’t” slams shut. When you’re trying to get clear on a big decision, keeping doors open is exactly the point.
2. Do one small new thing each day
It doesn’t have to be dramatic. Take a different road on your walk. Try the thing on the menu you always skip. Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Watch something completely outside your usual taste.
New experiences — even tiny ones — remind your brain that change is survivable. That trying something unfamiliar doesn’t have to end badly. That’s genuinely useful when you’re sitting with a decision that feels terrifying because the outcome is unknown.
3. Celebrate the effort, not just the outcome
This one is harder than it sounds, especially for women who have spent years measuring their worth by results. But here’s what I know: the effort deserves credit too.
Did you have a hard conversation you’d been avoiding? That counts. Did you sit down and actually think through something instead of pushing it away? That counts. Did you get through a rough day without completely shutting down? That absolutely counts.
You don’t have to do anything perfectly to deserve a moment of acknowledgment. Progress is progress, even when it’s messy.
4. End the day with three things that went right
Not three huge wins. Three anything. The coffee was good. You made someone laugh. You handled something that came up unexpectedly and you handled it fine.
When you’re stuck in a difficult season, your brain has a tendency to catalog everything that’s hard and overlook everything that isn’t. This practice is a gentle correction — training yourself to notice that even on a hard day, some things went right.
That matters more than it sounds.
5. Ask yourself one question before you go to sleep
“What did I learn today?”
Not “did I do enough” or “am I any closer to figuring this out.” Just — what did today teach me? It might be something practical. It might be something about yourself. It might be something small that you almost missed.
Women who are working through a big decision are learning something every single day, even when it doesn’t feel like it. This question helps you see it.
One more thing
A growth mindset isn’t a destination you reach. It’s a direction you keep choosing, especially on the days when it’s hard to choose anything at all. Some days these practices will feel easy. Some days they’ll feel like too much. Both are fine. The point is to keep coming back.
If you’re in the middle of “do I stay or do I go?” right now, these practices won’t make the decision for you — but they will help you get clearer. Clearer thinking leads to clearer decisions. That’s the whole idea.
A good place to start getting clearer
I put together a free guide — ten questions designed to help you hear your own voice when everything feels noisy and overwhelming. No score, no right answers, no agenda about where the questions take you. Just a quiet starting point.
→ Download it free at https://10questions.sheroempowered.com/crossroads
When you’re ready to go deeper
Simple daily practices open the door. For women who want structured support in actually walking through it — that’s the work I do through my “Do I Stay or Do I Go?” program. Three months, weekly sessions, zero agenda about which way you choose. And if you’d like to start with a conversation first, a 30-minute call is just $49 — no pressure, no pitch, just clarity.
When you’re ready, I’m here:
→ https://tidycal.com/franyakisley/stuck-on-the-fence
Written by Fränya K. Isley, founder of SHeroEmpowered.com
