One word. Three letters. And it changes everything about what comes next.
That word isyet.
“I don’t know what to do.” becomes “I don’t know what to doyet.“
“I can’t see my way through this.” becomes “I can’t see my way through thisyet.“
“I don’t know who I am outside of this marriage.” becomes “I don’t know who I am outside of this marriageyet.“
Feel the difference? The first version closes a door. The second one leaves it open. And when you’re in the middle of a big, heavy, life-changing question, keeping that door open is everything.
Where “Yet” comes from
Dr. Carol Dweck, a researcher at Stanford, spent decades studying how people respond to challenge and failure. What she found was that the people who kept going โ who figured things out, who grew through hard experiences โ weren’t necessarily smarter or more talented than anyone else. They just believed that their abilities could develop over time.
She called it a growth mindset. And one of the simplest ways to practice it is that single word: yet.
It’s not denial. It’s not pretending things are fine when they’re not. It’s just choosing to stay in the story instead of closing the book before it’s finished.
What “Yet” does for a woman on the fence
Here’s where this gets personal.
If you’ve been asking “do I stay or do I go?” for months โ or years โ you’ve probably said some version of these sentences to yourself:
“I don’t know how I’d manage on my own.”
“I can’t imagine starting over.”
“I have no idea what I actually want.”
“I don’t know how to make this decision.”
Every one of those sentences feels like a wall. And when you’re surrounded by walls, it’s hard to see any path forward at all.
Now addyet to the end of each one.
“I don’t know how I’d manage on my own โ yet.”
“I can’t imagine starting over โ yet.”
“I have no idea what I actually want โ yet.”
“I don’t know how to make this decision โ yet.”
Same situation. Same woman. Completely different relationship to what comes next.
“Yet” doesn’t hand you the answers. It just reminds you that not having them right now doesn’t mean you never will. That’s not a small thing. That’s the difference between paralysis and possibility.
How to start using it today
You don’t have to overhaul your thinking overnight. Start small.
The next time you catch yourself in an “I can’t” or “I don’t know” thought, just pause for a second. Addyet. See how it lands.
Some days it’ll feel like a lifeline. Some days it’ll feel hollow โ like you’re just adding a word to a sentence that still feels impossible. Both reactions are fine. The practice isn’t about feeling better instantly. It’s about training your brain to stay open instead of slamming shut.
Over time, that openness becomes the thing that carries you through.
A place to start opening doors
If you’ve been sitting with “do I stay or do I go?” and it feels like every direction is a wall, I put together a free guide โ ten questions designed to help you hear your own voice and start finding the doors you didn’t know were there. No score, no agenda, no right answers. Just a quiet place to begin.
โ Download it free at https://10questions.sheroempowered.com/crossroads
When you’re ready to go deeper
A single word opens the door. For women who want structured support in actually walking through it โ that’s the work I do through my “Do I Stay or Do I Go?” program. Three months, weekly sessions, zero agenda about which way you choose. And if you’d like to start with a conversation first, a 30-minute call is just $49 โ no pressure, no pitch, just clarity.
When you’re ready, I’m here:
โ https://tidycal.com/franyakisley/stuck-on-the-fence
Written by Frรคnya K. Isley, founder of SHeroEmpowered.com
